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Fri, 22 Feb 2008 04:37:03 GMT

from now on i'll be here!

http://www.monstercyb.org/brianna/journal/

with gordon's help i managed to import all my xanga entries there, but we still can't figure out how to get all the comments imported as well....

Friday, February 15, 2008

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 09:08:34 GMT

MY KIDNEYS ARE NORMAL. hooray! BUT, i have to take a few more tests still --- no celebrations just yet.

i think i'm very very bored lately. i'm craving intellectual stimulation which i only partially satisfy by listening to NPR interviews with authors i used to read and stalking the blogs of people i don't know. gus says i seem sedated lately. i think that's probably true. why is this so? i'm not entirely sure. there are a few possible explanations but they would make my life seem much dimmer than it actually is. there is a lot to be excited about. maybe this is just nervousness and not boredom.

i've been mildly obsessed with bill watterson (again!) lately. this is a commencement speech he gave at his alma mater in ohio in the 90s. i love it. and i think this is what i'm craving, something very honest and simple and poignant. it can come in whatever form, really. i think i'm going to pick up some books again though. figure out a new art project.

also, this is a little unceremonial (unceremonial? unceremonious? where the hell has all my linguistic ability gone?) but i'm working on leaving xanga for wordpress. i know i've been here for a good, what, 5 years now (good lord!) and this xanga has seen everything from YFAT shows to lowell dances to college admission to my first string of boyfriends to my amazing amazing year in southeast asia to the cynicism of college and to this cubicle life i have now. a hell of a lot. and it might be tacky to insult a blog on its own website, but xanga is really ugly and i don't like the design and all the new changes are annoying and blah blah blah. i know this will probably cause my readership to dwindle from 2 to 0. i'm okay with that. i feel like being on xanga so long has gotten me to a point where i'm too hesitant to say a lot of things. well whatever, no more excuses, i'm leaving! i'll put up the new address later on.

also, happy valentines day yesterday! did anybody notice the google homepage? SUPER CUTE. one of our internal applications at work was all in pink today too. i love that the people i work with are UBER ADORABLE.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 06:10:19 GMT

a few things

1) happy chinese new year! it's 2 weeks till the parade and some of my lovelies are coming with me this year. i am very very very excited for chinese banquet. mmm.

2) lately all you have to do is mention a food and i will immediately get a craving for it. this has included hot dogs, corn dogs, bbq chicken wings, pancakes, burritos, churros, etc etc. i still have yet to find a corn dog.

3) kidney update: i feel much much better! thanks to everyone for their support and concern. BUT, as there still might be something wrong with me regardless of the lack of symptoms, i'm getting a kidney ultrasound (yeah, wtf?) in a few days. i think they should at least do me the honor of letting me take home a picture of my kidneys.

4) my brain is disintegrating disintegrating disintegrating. maybe i will start blogging more so that my writing doesn't completely deteriorate and i can retain some semblance of intellect. i'm leaving out all articles (the, an, a) just to put less effort into my sentences. the writing tutor in me is crying.

5) i'm leaving google in about 3 weeks. why and what's next? topic for a later post.

6) yesterday was my last painting class, which i'll miss! i think i need a lot of practice but i don't suck quite as much as i expected, which is good news.

7) i'm reading this book called wives, mothers, and matriarchs by louise williams, a compliation of profiles of various women in asia struggling with, well, being a woman in asia. i think whenever i get angry i always read feminist literature. what's even more awesome is that louise williams also penned another book about freedom of the press in asia! <3

i'm not particularly superstitious, but the year of the rat is supposed to be a much better one for me, and the rest of my family. hopefully all the crap that's happened in the last month is just bad luck being expelled so we can all start off on a good foot again. i have a lot of hope, at least. change is gonna come...

Friday, February 01, 2008

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 04:58:35 GMT

to preface, when ruby and i lived together she would always play this horribly annoying song by badly drawn boy called "year of the rat"

2004

ruby: bri, best song ever! "EVERYBODY NEEDS TO KNOW IT'S THE YEAR OF THE RAT"
me: this is the most horrible song i've ever heard. it's not even the year of the rat.
ruby: "EVERYBODY NEEDS TO KNOW IT'S THE YEAR OF THE RAT!"
me: nobody needs to know if it isn't the year of the rat!!

2008

ruby: giggle giggle
bri: what?
ruby: EVERYBODY NEEDS TO KNOW IT'S THE YEAR OF THE RAT
bri: oh my god, i hate you.

just for reference: http://youtube.com/watch?v=PScUdYTO0UM

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 05:40:26 GMT

i'm still not well.

i'm STILL not well.

I'M STILL NOT WELL!!!

in case anybody is wondering how today's doctor appointment went, well. i spent 3 hours in redwood city because some overturned oil tanker shut down the 101. so i rescheduled the appointment. i got there and was told:

a) my last symptom would probably go away
b) last week's diagnosis turned out to be negative. but nobody told me because my doctor was on vacation. so i had to take another test, and i'll probably not get a call about that one either and i'll spend all of tomorrow haranguing the advice nurse to tell me what the results are and what actually is/was wrong with me.

and my cough came back.

I JUST WANT TO BE HEALTHY.

MAKE ME HEALTHY!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Sat, 26 Jan 2008 06:10:07 GMT

oh man, you guys.

this might be a pretty disgusting entry for those of you averse to reading about other people's bodily ills and malfunctionings. so if you are easily grossed out, or you don't want to get to know me quite this well, don't read any further.

i developed a kidney infection last weekend. i didn't know what it was at first because all i had was a fever that went away in one night, and a lot of fatigue. all the same, it was really worrying me. i went to the doctor and got it checked out, and i got a bottle of antibiotics to ease it off. and i don't know if it was the progression of the infection or the side effects of the medication, but i was in some of the worst pain i can remember over this last week. i think it's something fucking amazing that i managed to go to work ALL week long.

this is only some of what i had to go through:
- fever + chills. thank goodness these were over early.
- hourly stomach pains (that woke me up in the middle of the night, more than once)
- a weird gnawing empty feeling inside -- even after i ate, i still felt like my stomach was empty, which made me nauseous. but i wasn't able to eat much. i later found out that this was eased up by munching on lots of cereal.
- having to go the bathroom at least every hour
- massive fatigue. i slept 8 hours a night and still felt all of the other symptoms.
- urinating so much blood that i couldn't tell it was blood at first (because it was so dark it looked brown).
- waves of nausea (that was most likely the medication) & vomiting
- AND MORE.

AND I MANAGED TO GO TO WORK ALL WEEK LONG. i'm going to give myself a freaking trophy.

i'm knocking on wood, because i'm getting to the last day of my medication, and i'm returning to normal. i hope to God that this doesn't resurface, EVER. this one of the worst illnesses i've ever had. it comes in second only to the time in 8th grade i got the flu and i hallucinated about the drama club doing grease. at one point, i actually considered the possibility that i might die. i can only hope that this is some higher power's way of ridding my body/life of all evil things before chinese new year approaches? maybe?

thank you thank you THANK YOU so much to everybody who put up with me and sympathized while i obsessed over my symptoms and health articles and bitched about this all week. thank you God, and thank you cephalexin, even though you made me throw up. i would not wish this on ANYBODY. as soon as i'm sure i'm well i'm going to exercise, and floss, and take some vitamins.

if you are reading this: please please please be nice to your body. treat it well.

BECAUSE IF YOU DONT IT WILL GET MAD AND FUCKING TRY TO KILL YOU.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 03:51:30 GMT

i took this from john because i have nothing better to do.

Put your iTunes/Winamp/WMP on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING!

1. How does the world see me?
Jack Black - "I Pledge Allegiance To The Band."
Not really a song. I guess the world sees me as....a patriot..of rock?

2. Will I have a happy life?
The Producers - "Overture"
Guess I won't just have a happy life, I'll have a swingin' Broadway Nazi life!

3. What do my friends think of me?
Amelie - "La Valse d'Amelie."
They see me as instrumental and French.

4. Do people secretly lust after me?
Las Ketchup - "Asereje." (I have no idea why I still have this song.)
I guess people lust after me Latin style. This survey is mostly showing me what random music I have.

5. How can I make myself happy?
Fleetwood Mac - "Dreams."
Awww, by dreaming! And Stevie Nicks!

6. What should I do with my life?
Les Miserables - "Do You Hear the People Sing"
I should start a revolution!

7. Will I ever have children?
The Fray - "Trust Me"
I guess?

8. What is some good advice for me?
Lisa Loeb - "Wishing Heart"
AWWW I should follow my wishing heart <3

9. How will I be remembered?
Spamalot - "Diva's Lament (Whatever Happened To My Part?)"
WTF.

10. What's my signature dancing song?
Rent - "Goodbye Love."
THAT IS NOT A DANCING SONG THAT IS THE SONG WHERE MIMI AND ROGER LEAVE EACH OTHER

11. What's my current theme song?
The Wiz - "You Can't Win"
That is so sad.

12. What do others think is my current theme song?
Margaret Cho - "Jackie Chan/Chinese Abuse"
HAHAHAHA

13. What shall they play at my funeral?
Simon & Garfunkel - "The Sound of Silence"
THIS IS THE MOST DEPRESSING SURVEY EVER

14. What type of men/women do I like?
Diana Ross & The Supremes - "You Can't Hurry Love"
Awww, I like the men who take it slowww

15. How's my love life?
You're a Good Man Charlie Brown - "Snoopy"
My love life is a cartoon dog.

worst survey ever.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Tue, 08 Jan 2008 05:30:13 GMT

i'm a sicky. there is mucus everywhere and i have been combating it by drinking hot water every 5 minutes. i think i peed a waterfall today.

hello 2008!

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 08:16:02 GMT

if i have a resolution for this year, it's this: surround myself with good people, the ones that are supportive, the ones that dont judge, the ones that are just simple and sweet and are really truly good inside. i'm finished with people who make backhanded comments or who have some secret agenda in talking to you or just probe your life so they can feel better about theirs. i think over the years i have figured out who is who. the ones i have kept close to me, you are there for a reason.

Monday, December 31, 2007

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 09:39:30 GMT

because i've never done one before:

What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Operation Sunrise. Graduated college, got a full time job....went to Hooters?

Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I have resolutions all year long. I can't remember what they are and so I'm not sure if I kept them. I'll of course make more next year...they'll just be ongoing.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not in 2007, but Nuch just sent me a picture of her adorable baby boy and I can't wait to see him if ever I go back to Singapore in the near future.

Did anyone close to you die?
No, thank goodness.

What countries did you visit?
China, Hong Kong, Macau, China, China, China.

What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
Grad school admission? A fulfilling career path? Better language skills. Maybe also a new music player?

What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Lets see, I graduated May 17th....I can't really remember any other dates.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting a job on my own (go Google!), graduating with high honors, finishing my 50 page thesis with an A+...oh God, I'm such an Asian poster child. OH also, learning to change the brake pads on my car?

What was your biggest failure?
My continuously awful and awkward social skills, probably.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
No, thank goodness! I don't even think I got sick this year. I did slice up my finger a few times though because June always left the metal can lids partially open and I cut myself taking out the recycling.

What was the best thing you bought?
I never really buy much so I can't really remember. Possibly tickets to the Tegan and Sara concert. Or that $200 Anne Taylor dress that I found at Crossroads and bought for $30!

Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mark, for being always awesome. And probably my sister for quitting her job!

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
All parties who made the Thanksgiving China trip for my parents so stressful

Where did most of your money go?
Uh, where it always goes...IN MY BELLY. (because, you know, I buy food.) Gas comes in second.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The prospect of going off to grad school soon!

What song will always remind you of 2007?
Anything Fleetwood, or "Don't Stop Believin" by Journey. Actually, anything Journey. Also, "The Con."

Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier? Yes, the end of 2006 was pretty lousy.
thinner or fatter? OMG, FATTER
richer or poorer? richer! thank you job and not having to pay rent/food!

What do you wish you'd done more of?
Played guitar, gone out more.

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Sitting around wasting time on the Internet, sort of like now?

How will you be spending Christmas?
Well, I spent it already...and I hung out with the parents, eating dim sum (where every other Chinese family was) and ate dinner with the Rodriguezes.

Did you fall in love in 2007?
I continued on with my very loving and very awesome relationship.

How many one-night stands?
Zero!

What was your favorite tv program?
The Office/Heroes (even though Heroes started sucking)/Battlestar Galactica

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
DeAnza college for taking forever to send in my transcripts...

What was the best book you read?
Probably The Way the Crow Flies by Ann-Marie Macdonald, even though it was disturbing as hell. Make No Law was also pretty good. Oh yeah, and Harry Potter 7!

What was your greatest musical discovery?
CLASSIC ROCK! thanks to mark <3

What did you want and get?
A job? And wireless Internet in my house.

What was your favorite film of this year?
I didn't watch very many this year. Grindhouse was pretty awesome (but it was also partly the theater experience). I liked Juno a lot. I can't think of anything else.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
On my 22nd birthday I went out with friends to watch The Princess Bride in Union Square.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Having my own apartment.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Jeans with a Google jacket.

What kept you sane?
Art.

Which celebrity / public figure did you fancy the most?
Evan Rachel Wood. Why? No idea.

What political issue stirred you the most?
The monks' protests in Myanmar.

Who did you miss?
Mark (I don't see him very often), Patricia.

Who was the best new person you met?
Hm, the best? Some of my coworkers...Sandi, Ranny...Chong from Operation Sunrise...that Nigerian guy I met on the plane on the way back from China...

A valuable lesson you learned in 2007:
Keep art in my life no matter what.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"don't stop thinking about tomorrow, don't stop --- it'll soon be here"